Its all in his touch…


I know its a weird thing to do. But I decide that I didnt want to cuddle and kiss, when we are together. It makes the seperation way to hard. And specially when I have a feeling of him, wanting to leave. I know Im a very paranoid girl, many of you might think ” why do you stay in this relationship?”  I dont have a final answer for that, but some part of me belives that he loves me, like I love him. Im holding on to that part. I dont want to make a fast decision, dont want to break it off, and then months after regret. I want to give it all I can, if thats not enough then I will have to end it. Because I cant stand this pain, that this relationship is causing me. 


Have you ever been in this situation, you feel things are wrong, but when you meet him, you forget why you were so mad?  I used to think, I was being a bitch, to nag and argue whenever he came to visit. But over the years, I learned, the only good time to talk, is face to face.  

How do I get him to talk about the issues that I feel we have?  I dont feel he does enough. Currently he isnt in school nor working, actually just home playing some football and training from time to time. He has no intention of finding a job at this moment, bcus he wants to apply for univeristy, which starts in september. I asked him to come and stay for some few weeks, I wont be in school much of this month, but still have to show up for some few hours every week. We wont have another chance in a long time, to spend this much time together, get to know eactother more, our habits, ect ect. He didnt want to be here, because he had football. 

Am I expecting to much, to let that bother me, and get me mad. specially because he told me, that He wanted to quit football, but now he wont, and he wont come and stay with me, spend time with me, work on us? 

I feel the relationship is getting colder, so I decide not to be intimite with him. I can’t regocnize us , when we are apart. He doestn want to talk on the phone, nor skype anymore. I dont feel he deserves to be intimite, I feel he’s using me. 


Please tell me Im not wrong, and that you’ve been there. Tell me Its signs that I should take serioulsy….


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